Learning From My Mistakes...
It is ever-so-important when you are going to dance that you make yourself presentable...ever-so. On that note, today's topic will be on hygiene, and the should-be obsessive nature of a dancer to practice, practice practice! I've had my own run-ins with these issues, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I had to enforce some new habits on myself the more I realized I was going to be sticking around.
For one, when I started dancing, I didn't realize that showers *before* the dance were necessary. I always thought I would get the dirty stuff out of the way and then dust myself off. The truth is, if you have any smells on you, if your deodorant is old, if your hair is greasy, your make-up is runny, it all just gets worse (unless of course, you're dancing one song, and you put no energy into it, and it's not close to anyone, and you have a complaint partner, and really, there' s just no chance of you breaking into a sweat). Showers are necessary before you walk onto a dance floor before boogieing down. They aren't a requirement for anyone to dance or not dance with you, but will keep folks from whispering about how smelly you are or having to point out that your great eyeliner job earlier in the day is now a severe case of raccoon eyes...but the whispering about how smelly you are should be enough. If it's not, you have some more serious issues, I fear.
Second, imagine this: You've got an incredible intro (say, Blues My Naughty Sweetie Gave To Me by Sidney Bechet) that leaves you just enough time to find a swell partner because you want to dance this song into the GROUND. Things start out in closed position, but you're not facing one another. Your partner starts talking and brings you in for a tuck-turn when all of a sudden, *poof* *gag* *cough* aaaaaand we're in open. *whew* What you've just experienced is the tuck, turn, and gag also known as: the Tuck, Turn, and Gag. Seriously kids, have the good sense to brush your teeth before you know you're going to get in someones bubble, because ultimately, someone is going to make a "puh" or a "ch" sound, and the person on the other end of that is going to be very disappointed when your heavy breathing (or heavy talking) starts to choke them. That is why the Jitterbugs have been providing mints as of late, and will be making the attempt to provide them as long as...I don't know. I just hope they keep it up.
Third, and I should hope I wouldn't have to mention this, but sad as it is, I know I do. DEODORANT: if you don't wear it, you will be denied dances. It's as simple as that. Leads and follows talk. If you're constantly passing someone under your arm or putting your arms in the air near your partner's face, don't think their critiques aren't passing to someone else's ears.
Furthermore, I am not at all telling you how to live your life. You can eat meat or not eat meat. You can eat wheat or not eat wheat. You can eat beets or not eat beets. If you're eating beans, you'd better come ready to be giggled at. If you start beaning it out all over the floor, I'm telling you, it doesn't matter how far and how fast you travel across the floor, the smell will find you and you will be giggled or "gross"-ed at. I'm sure there are other foods in your life that have this affect on you, but you needn't drag them out across the dance floor for all the world to smell. Just keep this in mind when you know you're going to be dancing a few hours later, and there should be no problem to abstaining...I don't care how much you loooove beans. You should be able to "just say no."
So kids, make certain you take good care of yourselves. You belong to me.
(Mwahahahahaha!)
